CCST3K(Season Four)#36-The Black Hole

*TURN OFF YOUR LIGHTS*

(And give yourself a severe case of eyestrain)

(The future isn't what it used to be....)

"CARD CAPTOR SCIENCE THEATER 3000" (SEASON FOUR)

EPISODE 36: THE BLACK HOLE

(A Pokemon MSTing)

MSTed From the Desk of CardCaptor Schlueter (aka Syaoran-kun)

This is a MSTing of a work of fiction created by another author.

Use of copyrighted and trademarked material is for entertainment

purposes only; no infringement on the original copyrights or

trademarks held by Best Brains, Inc. is intended or should be inferred.

“Card Captor Sakura” is a trademark of CLAMP and those who distribute it.

“Pokemon” is the property of Nintendo and several soulless corporate monoliths.

“The Black Hole” is the property of Dr. Thinker and is used with permission. I do not intend to offend him by making fun of his work like this but I figure it's only a matter of time before someone does. Think of this as another form of C&C. ;)

(Cue "Card Captor Science Theater 3000 Love Theme" in 5....4....3....)

It's the not-too-distant future,

Last Sunday BC

There was this girl named Sakura

Quite different from you or me

She captured Clow Cards with her friends

All seen through Tomoyo’s camera lens

They tried to save the human race,

But Eriol lost his patience

So he shot them into space!!!!

Sakura: (Hoeeee……)

Syaoran and Tomoyo: (Now what?)

We'll send them crappy fanfics

The worst we can find  (lalala)

They'll have to sit and read them all

And we'll monitor their minds  (lalala)

Now keep in mind they can't control

When the fanfics begin or end  (lalala)

Because, let’s face it, after all

Eriol’s not really their friend;

CARD CAPTOR ROLL CALL:

Meiling:

'HI-KEEBA!!’

Tomoyo:

'Oh-hohohohohohoho!!!'

Syaoran:

'I do NOT blush! (blushes)'

KEROOOOOOO!!!

'I am the guardian of the hell!!'

If you're wondering how they eat and breathe

And other science facts  (lalala)

Then repeat to yourself

*It's just a MiST*

You should really just relax

Sakura: (Did I mention Aeris is here?)

Aeris: (One line about shish-kabob and I’ll beat you senseless.)

For Card Captor Science Theater 3000!!!

THE BEACH OF A SMALL, UNIHABITED TROPICAL ISLAND

13:45 Hours

Kero smiled brightly as he adjusted his sunglasses, which were somewhat too big for him, and leaned back in his beach chair which was way too big for him. The sky was clear and bright, the sun was shining and the palm trees were swaying gently in the breeze as the water lapped against the shore.

“More pudding cake, Cerberus-sama?” asked the girl sitting next to Kero, who happened to be Kasumi from the “Dead or Alive” games, her reddish-brown hair done its usual long pigtail and dressed in her trademark blue and white Shiranui-esque mandarin fighting outfit and white stockings.

“Yes, please!” Kero said brightly.

Kasumi picked up a desert plate from a nearby table with slice of cake on it. She speared a small piece of cake and fed it to the small plushie-like guardian. On his other side, Lei Fang, with her dark hair its trademark twin looped braids and dressed in a red silk cheongsam that was as short as possible while still being decent (and maybe an inch shorter) held a glass of iced tea which Kero took sips from after swallowing the cake. He smiled as he watched four other DoA girls in bikinis playing volleyball nearby with Hitomi and Helena on one side and Ayane and Tina on the other.

Yes, this was definitely his favorite way to spend some free time.

Just then a long shadow was cast over him. He looked up to see Aeris with her hands on her hips and one eyebrow raised.

“So this is where you’ve been,” she said.

“Uh… Hi, Aeris,” said Kero.

“I don’t suppose I should ask why you programmed this Sports Illustrated Swimsuit Issue crossed with a Corona ad,” said Aeris.

“Well…” Kero began.

“Never mind,” said Aeris. “Come on. We’re needed on the bridge.”

THE SATELLITE OF LOVE

Sakura, Syaoran, Tomoyo and Meiling were already waiting with Eriol on the viewscreen when Kero and Aeris arrived.

“Hey, where have you been?” yelled Meiling. “Stupid stuffed toy…”

“Back off, little girl,” Kero snapped. “I’m here aren’t I?”

“Could we get on with this?” asked Eriol. “I hope you have a good Clow card planned this week.”

“Well,” Sakura began. “Our Clow card this week was inspired by our last experiment. We call it ‘The Hardsuit’ card. It’s good for designing your own hardsuits and, if you’re up to it, Evas, Gears, Mechs and Gundams.”

“What do you think, sirs?” asked Tomoyo.

DEEP 13

The evil Dr. Eriol Hiiragazawa smirked. “Not bad kiddies,” he said as his two assistants, TV’s Ruby Moon and Spinel Sun brought him their entry this week. “My Clow card this week was partly inspired by the release of the English version of ‘Rockman.EXE’ also known as ‘Megaman NT Warrior’ which is almost enough to make up for the crappy American Megaman cartoon. Our card is for programming NetNavis and other trinkets that make today’s Palm Pilots look like antiques.”

“We named it ‘The Navi’ after the fairy from ‘Legend of Zelda: Ocarina of Time’,” said Spinel Sun.

“Anyway,” Eriol continued. “Your fanfic this week is another wonderful example of incoherence from our old friend Dr. Thinker. It’s a Pokemon fic with a character who seems like an overzealous cosplayer. It’s called ‘The Black Hole’. Love it if you can, hate it if you must, but always, always suffer. Put the hurt on them, Ruby Moon.”

“Consider them flame broiled,” said Ruby Moon.

THE SATELLITE OF LOVE

“Dr. Thinker?” said Syaoran. “Whoa… It’s been awhile.”

“Not long enough,” said Tomoyo.

Suddenly, alarms and sirens rang out.

“OHHHH, WE'VE GOT FANFIC SIGN!!!” Sakura cried out.

(Door 6: It’s a giant Clow card. Sakura changes it into a Sakura card and it disappears.)

(Door 5: It’s a labyrinth. You smash through it with Kaho’s bell.)

(Door 4: It’s a waterfall. You freeze it and smash through.)

(Door 3: It’s a giant box of living plushies. It tips over and the plushies run off giggling.)

(Door 2: It’s a Venetian blind. You spend five minutes trying to get it to roll up before cutting through it with scissors.)

(Door 1: It’s made of concrete. The plushies come back with construction equipment and reduce it to dust.)

(Door .7: The camera pans downward to a teleporter pad. You step onto it and are suddenly surrounded by bright light.)

Sakura, Syaoran, Tomoyo and Aeris are teleported directly into their seats while Kero-Chan floats overhead.

>Pokemon is copyrighted by 1993, 2001, and 2003 by Nintendo of Japan,

>Nintendo, Game Freak, and Creatures Inc..

Aeris: Anyone who ripped it off in 2002, however, could away with murder.

>Scooby-Doo and Velma are copyrighted 1969, 1999, 2003 by Warner Bros. and Hana-Banana.

Kero: Hana-Banana? Is this the name game?

Sakura: Hanna-Barbara must’ve gone out of business.

Syaoran: After letting them make that live-action Scooby-Doo movie? They deserve to.

>Dr. Thinker copyrighed this story 2002. All right served.

Tomoyo: More than 90 billion served!

Aeris: Doc Thinker actually paid to copyright this?

>This is not a cross-over.

Syaoran: It is a confusing mess.

>it's just that two characters are named for characters in the second copyright.

Sakura: Oh, goody. A pseudo-crossover. It’ll be like “Bubblegum Card Ep. 3.1415” all over again.

>"The Black Hole"

Tomoyo: Also known as “Where All Doc Thinker’s Fics Will End Up”.

Kero: And hopefully Marrissa Picard too.

>by Dr. Thinker

Syaoran:<singing> I’m thinking. Oh yes, I’m thinking. I’m thinking morning, noon and niiiiiight!

>The girl was standing out of the Pokemon Center.

Kero:<double-take> Hey! Wow! Doc Thinker wrote a vaguely coherent sentence!

>Thos girl had a dull brown hair that look like it had been combed by a short circuted mechine.

Sakura: I knew it couldn’t last.

>She had pushed her metal male-looking glasses back on her face.

Syaoran: What does a metal male look like?

Aeris: Apparently, like glasses.

>Her black eye looked around the path.

Tomoyo: Looks like someone socked her one.

Sakura: Clara Sutter?

Kero:<Clara> That’s the last time I save Alexander’s butt in a bar fight.

>She looked in one of the metal on the side--This was part of the machine

>that locked the Pokemon Center at 11 O'Clock every note.

Syaoran: So a piece of metal locks the center every night when it receives a note? Huh?!

>She noted her dress was similar to her namesnake on a old 1969 comic mystery cartoon, Velma--That

>means her dress was a light yellowish-orange suit, with a matching skirt, and brown

>sneakers.

Aeris:<Velma> Jinkies!

Sakura: Remind me again how this *isn’t* a cross-over.

>She had a few Pokemon, Scooby, a "Mightyena".

Kero:<Mightyena, singing> Here I come to save the day!

>Hey, why not steal a name fom the same show that she got her name from.

Aeris: Yeah. Originality is so overrated.

>She look around to see if any were walking their dog-like Pokemon, or having a Pokemon battle near-by.

Syaoran: So she could avoid dog messes and pools of blood.

>The town's name was right out of a Scooby-Doo eposide -- "Mystic Heaven."

Sakura: Uh… What episode was that?

Tomoyo: It wasn’t an episode. It was an “eposide”.

>#################################################################

Kero:<Bill Pullman in “Spaceballs”> They’ve gone to plaid!

>"Mystic Heaven" was part of the Eastern American League Of Pokemon Trainers-most

>Americans trainers nicknamed "THE EALPT."

Aeris: That’s a pretty crappy acronym.

Syaoran:<Brain Williams> Well, we’re here live from EALPT Stadium in beautiful Mystic Heaven. All rrrriiight. Let’s go down to the

game field and our announcer, Ron McLean.

>Like all Leagues--Trainers must pass 8 Gym Leaders and collect their badges.

Aeris: Well, what do you expect from Pokemon? Originality?

Sakura:<childish> This one’s for swimming, this one’s for knot tying and this one is for splattering a Pikachu’s blood over the gym walls.

Tomoyo: Eew…

>"Mystic Heaven" leader was named, Xurix.

Kero: Well, *there’s* a name for you.

Syaoran: Xurix was a little green man who spent his days giving anal probes to the trainers he thumped and avoiding Fox Mulder.

>She was all way up to something weird stunt or something---

Aeris: Xurix *IS* Evel Knievel!!

>A few of EALPT Gym Leaders want her out of the EALPT, incluning Geraldie,

Tomoyo: Whoever the hell that is.

Kero:<Police Captain> MAVERICK!! Hand over your badge and gun! You’re off this case!

>a female who tried Dark Pokemon.

Sakura: I sure hope that’s nothing like Dark Sonic.

Syaoran: Amen.

>It's nothing new--she had competed the Western American Pokemon League (WAPL) as well as the EALPT

Tomoyo: As well as the GLURP, the FWEEBM and the WERF.

>--- -but the arguements were against Valley City's Cizura, who Gym Leaders fight with normal types--but Cizuara didn't even have a normal-type on her 4 >Pokemon team.

Sakura: Yeah. Well, that could be a problem.

Tomoyo: So… How did she get that job in the first place?

>She told anyone who act here that, she qoutes "I hadn't got a change to catch a normal Pokemon, because I too busy with the gym."

Aeris:<Xurrix> Pumping all those quarters into that crane game for what?

>Velma heard that question from a trainer who asked Cizura outside of Valley town's Pokemon Gym.

Kero: I guess this means we’ll be running into valley girls?

Tomoyo:<Madison Taylor> What-ever!

Aeris:<Clover from “Totally Spies”> Pokemon? Like, that is *so* six months ago.

>She jogged to the location of the gym, near a rocky beach, but she was suprized to see what she saw.

Kero: It was Daphne and Fred naked!

Sakura: Eww…

Syaoran: Thank you *so much* for that mental image.

> A 4 foot aend 9 inches of normal-looking woman wearning a purple shirt and a purple shorts. Her purple loafers were kicking rocks like they were very upset >Geodudes.

Tomoyo: I’m sending a theme of purple here.

Kero: Purple socks and yes, even purple…

Sakura: Kero…

Aeris: …panties!

Sakura: Aeris!

> Her hair was dirty purple--it look like Muk had a party in there."

Syaoran: Misato Katsuragi hits the grunge scene.

Sakura:<Mint Adnade> You have lovely hair.

Aeris:<Arche Klane> I have lovely *everything*.

>"What's up with that hair?" Velma asked.

Sakura:<Xurrix> Depends. What’s up with those uber-geeky glasses?

>"A Muk's Dance Club." joked Xurrix. Her face had purple eyes and her link was purple was smiling.

Aeris: Link? Tsk… What would Zelda think?

Tomoyo: If her teeth are purple, I’m leaving.

>"You look like the next person to become a Purple Ranger." Velma laughed.

Kero: Purple Ranger? Aragorn’s comrades are becoming color-coded now?

Aeris: They learned that from the wizards.

Syaorean:<Gandalf> Behold! I am no longer Gandalf The Grey, but Gandalf The Purple!

>"Ha. Ha. Ha. Ha. I laughed." Xurrix remarked.

Kero:<Velma, heavy sarcasm> No? Really?

Aeris:<Naru Narusegawa, drunk> I’m gonna eat a plum wine plum, okay? <chomp> Heh… I ate it.

>"What are you doing here?"

Syaoran: Well, she’s at a pokemon gym with a pokemon. I guess she’s there for the chess tournament.

>"Looking for a Gym Leader to battle." Velma answered.

Sakura:<Velma> I need something to do while the Mystery Machine is in the shop.

>Xurrix stated. "You find me, but I'm afaird I can't battle you now."

Kero:<Xurrix> I need to get to my English class.

Sakura:<Velma> Better hurry. You need it.

>"What happen?" Velma asked.

Syaoran:<Joe Friday> Just the facts, ma’am.

>"Just a few days ago, I was returning to my Gym to test my Gym Trainers, when I discover

>the Gym was missing as well as the most houses on the eastern-side of the town. Aslo

>I discovered my two Pokemon were mising as well"

Aeris:<Xurrix> Huh… Half the city is missing and… OH MY GOD! WHERE ARE MY POKEMON?!

Tomoyo: Geez… Did this town get its cops from “Police Academy” or something?

>"Any clues?" velma remarked.

Sakura:<Xurrix> We think it was Col. Mustard in the conservatory with the candlestick.

Tomoyo:<Xurrix> Steve and Blue are due any minute to help us.

>"Nope. Not one. The Officer Jennys combed the area with a fine tooth-comb and come up

>empty hand..."

Syaoran: They found a hand?

Kero: The crawling hand returns!!

Tomoyo:<Xurrix> We thought it was Dale.

>"Any recent problems with those rotton Team Rocket members?" Velma remarked. Team Rocket was

>always causing problems in America. Rockets mostly work in bigger town--but some Rockets

>may show up in smaller town.

Kero: You can tell by their red glare as their bombs burst in the air.

>Xirrux remarked, "The last time any Rocket members decide to waltz to this town--it's was in 1978.

Sakura:<Xurrix> They were wearing bellbottoms and platform shoes. Unfortunately, that sort of thing is back in style now.

Tomoyo:<Mariemeia Khushrenada> It was an endless waltz with the three beats of attempt, defeat and beating repeating over and over.

>I was trying to trick people until thinking that he had a powerful pyshic Pokemon--Mew--but it's turn that it was only a Ralt. The last I heard that he throw the >Pokeball until the water. He was arrest when one group of Rocket tried to pull off a stealing of gold from Fort Knock, he was arrested and imprision for life."

Kero: What--?! Team Rocket tried to knock of Fort Knox?! Is Auric Goldfinger running the show now?

Aeris:<Ash Ketchem a la Sean Connery> Do you expect me to talk?

Syaoran:<Goldfinger> No, Mr. Ketchem, I expect you to DIE!

>"That means he could be free-if he didn't escape." Velma stated.

Sakura: So if he escaped he wouldn’t be free… huh?

Kero: Wow… This fanfic is either unbelievably surreal and zen-like or a total mess.

Tomoyo: I vote for the latter.

>"Correct. And Geradie had show her ugly face around these parts since 1993, thought

>she's been e-mailing the EAPT's Elite Four to get rid of me--but I'm protected by

>the EAPT Rules." Xurrix remarked with a smirk.

Kero:<Xurrix> I *AM* the beef!

>"Any supernaturul problems?" Velma questions.

Sakura:<Xurrix> Nah. Ayaka Kisaragi was here a few weeks ago. And before that, the Ghostbusters were here to get rid of that pesky marshmallow man.

Syaoran:<Dr. Peter Venkman> Well, *there’s* something you don’t see everyday.

>"Trainers have spooked by a black hole that midnight every night. Any trainers

>who go in, never come..."

Kero: So *that’s* what happened to Hiroe in F3!

Sakura: KERO!

>Velma groaned.

Syaoran: For once I can see where she’s coming from.

>######################################################################

Kero: New Chex Mix for Windows!

>Velma walked around the location and found nothing herself.

Syaoran: The location? Doc Thinker’s gotten really vague.

>She took out her Pokegear and check the time: It was 11:59. A small black hole appeared

>near her. Velma walked in and fainted.

Aeris:<Robert Stack> She was never seen again.

Sakura: Well, *that* was a twist.

>##########################################################################

Tomoyo: That is one crappy looking fence.

>Velma awake to the sight of a tub in a bathroom.

Aeris:<Velma> That’s strange. Why am I naked in this tub of ice? And where’s all this blood coming fro-- ARGHH! WHERE’S MY KIDNEY?!

Sakura: Aeris…

Kero: Wasn’t this the ending of “2001”?

>"Hello." a voice stated.

Kero:<smooth> Bathe here often?

Aeris: Bath time’s over, Velma.

Tomoyo:<Sumomo> Splish, splash. Splish, splash.

>"Who are you?" asked Velma.

Syaoran:<voice> I am the guardian of the hell.

Kero:<voice> I am Inigo Montoya! You killed my father!

Aeris:<voice> I’m Frank Sinatra. Who the hell are you?

>"My name is Cale. You are in 'Mystic Haven's Pokemon Gym.".

>A brown-skin hand give Velma her glasses.

Kero: Another dismembered hand? What is this, an Evil Dead movie?

Aeris:<Bruce Campbell> In the Black Hole, shop smart! Shop S-Mart!

>Clale was an African-American, wearning

>a paid shirt under overall.

Syaoran: Nice to know he paid for that shirt. Really,

Sakura: But what is *Cale* wearing?

>"What's you job?" asked Velam

Kero: “Velam”?

Tomoyo: Maybe he means “vellum”?

Sakura: So now we have sentient drafting paper? Lovely.

>Cale replied, "To keep his Gym in working order. But recently Xirrux been acting strange...."

Aeris:<Cale> Well, more so than usual.

Tomoyo:<Cale> She’s got to stop taking those roles in David Cronenberg films.

>"What do you mean?" asked Velma

>Cale remarked, "She's forbid non-Pyshic Pokemon battles in a while...and Kate is inching for once."

Sakura: Inching? So Kate is an obsessive measurer?

Syaoran: Maybe she’s a worm?

>"Who's Kate?" asked Velma

Kero: Probably a character played by Meg Ryan.

>"Our actor." remarked Cale.

Tomoyo:<Kate> Dying is easy. Comedy is hard.

>"What do you mean?' Velma inquired.

Kero: GAH! Why does she keep repeating herself?

Syaoran: She sounds like Tima from “Metropolis” caught in a feedback loop.

Sakura:<Osaka dialect, waving her hand in a back-handed manner> What do you mean? What do you mean?

Kero: Very funny…

>"Kate acts out different trainers types--her most common is Dark Pokemon trainer. She keeps on our toes and well as keep xirrux well-trained in outsmarting >weakness of Pyshic Pokemon." stated.

Sakura: Dark pokemon, huh?

Syaoran:<Darth Vader> You don’t know the power of the Dark Side…

>###########################################################################################

Tomoyo: Hey! Train tracks!

>"Cale, she's a New Holie?" A normal-looking red-hear girl dressed in a blue dress/skirt. She was rolling her Pokeball on the floor.

Kero: ARGHHHHHH!!! MONSTER RANCHER FLASHBACKS!!

>"Holie?" Velma asked.

Sakura: She finds pokemon using her magic stone!

Tomoyo:<Holly> We must find the phoenix pokemon!

Syaoran: Please stop using that voice.

>"A person sallowed up by the Black Hole. We saw the Black Hole come right through

>the floor of Gym. We don't know and we know it's not

>Gym Leader's Pokemon. She only have a LV 34 Xatu and LV 35 Abra. They were playing

>in the basement at the time of hole."

Aeris: Anyone get that?

Sakura: I think he’s saying that the Black Hole couldn’t be caused by the gym leader’s pokemon because they were playing in the

basement when the hole appeared and swallowed the gym.

Kero: Sounds close enough.

>"Where is the Gym Leader now?" Velma asked

Tomoyo: On her way to Havana.

Sakura: She got out of this story while she could.

>"She should be in her room wondering what happen to the western-side of the town." replied

>Kate. "By the way, a one-on-one Pokemon. Same type--Dark."

All: GAH!!

Syaoran: Where’d *she* come from?!

>"I'm ready." Velma remarked.

Tomoyo:<Velma a la Michael Buffer> …to RUUUUMBLEEEE!

>"Good, I choose, Meya!"

>A large Mightyena appeared.

Sakura: POOF!

Tomoyo:<Kate> Hello, Seigfried.

Aeris:<Meya> Hello, Roy.

Tomoyo:<Kate> Hello, Seigfried.

Aeris:<Meya> Hello, Roy.

>"Go! Scooby!"

Kero:<Lan> Go! Megaman! Jack in!

Syaoran: Go Leafs Go!

>A Mightyena twice as large as Meya appeared.

Aeris:<Mightyena> I’m HUGE!

>"This is going to easy as scaring Shaggy." Meya remarked.

Kero:<Shaggy> Zoinks!

Sakura: Another talking pokemon?

>The battle was long and tiresome for both Pokemon and their trainer. Velma got

>lucky as Scooby used a "Swagger" attack to confused Meya.

Tomoyo: Scooby put on his white disco suit and made like John Travolta.

Syaoran: That would be confusing.

>"Thanks for the battle." Kate remarked. "Something is different wrong with

>Xirrux

Aeris: Whoa! Hold it! This battle had just started.

Kero: No. Doc T just told us it was long and tiresome.

Syaoran: Who taught him how to write battle scenes? Stephen Ratliff? Joyce K. Wakabayashi?

Sakura: hikaru shidou?

>She's having green-skin problem between 11:00 PM and 2:00 AM. I asked her what's wrong and she told me to mind my own and my own-Pokemon bussiness."

Tomoyo: I’ve heard of some bad skin problems but WHOA!

Aeris: This from a girl whose skin looks like Vampire Princess Miyu’s, only paler.

>"Green skin--I'm starting to think that's she isn't Xirrux." Velma stated.

Kero: It’s the Poke-Hulk!

Syaoran: So we can look forward to some dorky CG animation of Xurrix bouncing like a superball through the Grand Canyon?

>"Tell me something that I don't know." Kate remarked.

Sakura:<Kate> Sure, I knew about a treacherous and possibly dangerous imposter lurking about, but I decided to wait fore someone else to deal with it.

>###################################################################################

Tomoyo: Meanwhile, on the subway…

>Kate healed my Pokemon injuries and filled up their attack powers with some food

>and drink.

Aeris: Wha?! When did Dr. Thinker show up in this story?!

Sakura: Lovely… Now it’s a self insert Thinkerfic.

>She told the direction to go. It was different correct and found the fake

>Xirrux.

Syaoran: Different correct? That’s when there’s more than one right answer, right?

>She had the dirty hair purple hair and purple clothing that the real Xirrux had on

>her when I meet her.

Kero: Will the real Xurrix please stand up?

Aeris: Hey, if she’s a copy does that mean they put her in a “Xurrix” machine?

>Her skin was green as a Bulbsuar's bulb.

Tomoyo: What’s she so jealous about?

Sakura:<Xurrix> XURRIX HULK SMASH!!

>"What do you what?" the fake Xurrix asked. Velma noticed the mouth wasn't moving. "I'm busy."

Syaoran: Oh! She’s a ventriloquist!

Aeris: Great. Now *I* want to beat her up too.

>"A battle." I stated.

>"Get lost!" the fake Xurrix. stated.

Kero:<Xurrix> And take my extra period with you!

<Sakura, Aeris and Tomoyo scowl at him>

Kero:<sweatdrops> I meant the unnecessary period between “Xurrix” and “stated”.

Sakura: Oh.

>"Afaird to lose? Scooby, go!"

Kero:<Thunderbirds announcer> Scooby is GO!

Aeris:<Velma> I’ll harrrm youuu…

>Scooby-Doo stand very close to the fake Xirrux. The outfit changed, into a long white

>robe.

Tomoyo: Hey! It’s Ishizu Ishtar!

Kero:<CardCaptor Schlueter> Ishizu? <looks around> Where?

>Near the location of the human heart, the outfit was red as a Charizard's body.

>Scooby-Doo growled at it. I saw room changed in a hunting logde mix with a Pokemon

>Center's lobby.

Aeris: The nurses tried valiantly to revive the animal heads and stuffed grizzly to no avail.

>"Is that a Confusin attack?" I wonder. "Scooby, Bite that thing!"

Sakura:<Xurrix> Bite me! I mean…<CHOMP!> OW!!

>Scooby-Doo attacked the green thing wearning a robe on it. The dark was right near

>the bottom and she fall...and I tooked out a Pokeball and toss it....she was weak

>and I got her.

Tomoyo:<Velma> Hey! That was *my* capture!

Syaoran:<Dr. Thinker> Heh… Sucker…

Sakura: So the evil Xurrix was just a renegade pokemon?

>########################################################333

Aeris: Hey! The scene change cut the devil in half!

>After Velma caught that Pokemon in my Pokeball--things want to fast.

Tomoyo: Wait… Dr. Thinker gave Velma a pokeball?

Kero: And I thought Dr. T’s fics were confusing before.

Aeris: Well, if he’s hanging around with Velma and Xurrix, he could change the title to “Dr. T And The Women”.

Syaoran: Aeris, has this fic activated your “bad pun” gene?

>Cale and Kate were able to open the doors back to "Mystic Heaven", and meet up

>with the real Xirrux. I battle agianst Xirrux using Scooby and win

>her Mystic Badge.

Sakura: Naturally, this battle was way too intense to show us.

Tomoyo: SCENE MISSING.

>Things finally calmed down as some more

>information.

Kero: Once again the day is saved by Bubbles, Blossom and Buttercup! The Powerpuff Girls!

>###########THN###############################################

All: GAH!

Sakura: What is that?

Tomoyo: “The End” maybe?

>"So what is this Pokemon?" Velma asked.

Syaoran: Nope.

>"It's a Gardevoir, a Pyshic Pokemon." Nurse Joy stated. "Anceints myth claimed

>that it created the black holes. They can only do it a midnight."

Sakura: Sound a little bit like ‘The Time’ card.

Syaoran: That kind of power seems to be a stretch of Darwinian logic.

Tomoyo: As opposed to the powers of other pokemon?

Syaoran:<pause> Point taken.

>"That explains the black hole appearance and why Scooby effect it version

>of Xirrux strangely. Pyshic Pokemon can't handle Dark Pokemon--that explains. The catching of that Pokemon must had stopped the Pokemon."

Kero: Yes. Catching pokemon *does* tend to stop them.

Aeris: Dr. Thinker, official fanfic writer of the Department of Redundancy Department.

>"By the way, it's 25 years old," Nurse Joy stated.

Tomoyo: Uh… How did she know that?

Aeris:<Nurse Joy> I cut him in half and counted the rings.

>"You mean--is Gardevoir is the Ralt that Rocket member throwed into the ocean." Velma stated.

Syaoran: Oh, that explains… HUH?!

Sakura: Wow! What a convenient piece of information! Right out of thin air!

Tomoyo: Dr. T’s got the Scooby-Doo writing format down cold!

>"You mean--ex-Rocket member who is now the Gym Leader of this town, Xirrux. That's the reason is that Geraldie wants her out--Geraldie hates Rockets. In >fact, Xirrux was arrested at Font Knock by Geraldie in 1978."

Kero: So, Xirrux was a member of Team Rocket?! And she was arrested twenty-five years ago?! HOW OLD IS SHE?!

Aeris: Xirrux, the middle aged purple punk queen!

>"Who told you all of this?" asked Velma

>"Xirrux, herself." Nurse Joy replied.

Sakura: She’s the kind of person who never shuts up.

>##############################################################################

Aeris: Hey! Someone stitched up the scene change!

>"You back? You got my badge, what esle do you want?" asked Xirrux.

Kero:<Police Captain> I said I need your badge *and* gun.

>"Why didn't you tell me that you were a ex-Rocket?" Velma questioned.

>"You never asked for the name of the Rocket who visted the town in 1978." Xirrux.

All:<muted trumpet imitation> Wah-wah-waaaahhhhhh!

>Velma blushed redder then a Charizard's tail.

Tomoyo: Another graduate of the Syaoran School of Blushing.

Syaoran: Shut up, Daidouji.

>#############################################################################

>"Gardevoir?" I asked the Pokemon. "Why did you took over Xirrux's gym?"

All: GAH!

Sakura: Doc Thinker is back!

Tomoyo:<Gardevoir> I did it for kicks!

Aeris:<Gardevoir> And I would’ve gotten away with it, if it wasn’t for you meddling kids!

>"Revenge for her throwing me away." Gardevoir remarked. "I would have

>got away if it was for you and that medding Dark Pokemon. What did

>you had to catch me?"

Syaoran: I guess that line was inevitable.

>"To save the lifes of humans and their Pokemon." Velma replied.

Kero:<Gardevoir> Oh, right. My reckless killing spree… Duh!

>"I'm very sorry. Do you mind if I help you to clean up my rotten record?"

>the Gardevoir asked.

Tomoyo: What? Is Velma a cop now?

Sakura:<Velma> Well, Miyuki and Natsumi have already done a lot of *favors* for me. I could get Aoi to help, but he’d want to borrow my clothes.

Syaoran: I hope *someone* got that.

>"That thought did cross my mind." Velma stated.

>"I'm reading that it's still in your mind." the Gardevoir remarked.

Aeris:<Garedevoir> Our minds are melding… They are becoming one…

>"I got to get use to this." Velma remarked.

Sakura: Not likely…

“You know…” said Kero as the group exited the theater to the bridge. “After all the crappy cast replacement crossovers, not to mention fics like ‘Find You Again’, it’s kind of nice to get back to good old reliable Doc Thinker.”

“How so?” asked Sakura.

“In Doc Thinker’s fanfics you can always count on certain things,” Kero replied.

Suddenly the lights dimmed and the theme from “Cheers” started playing.

Kero:<singing> MSTing your way through fics today sure can take a lot,

Finding a way through all those clichés can cause your mind to rot.

Sometimes you want to get away….

Sometimes you want to go…

All:<singing> Where the author knows your naaaame…

And his writing’s all the saaaaaaame…

Kero:<singing> You want to go where Thinker knows,

His ideas are never the same,

Even though we have no idea what he’s saying…

You want to go where Thinker knows,

His fanfics aren’t all the same,

You want to go where the author knows your name.

The music slowly fades and the lights return to normal.

“Well, that’s all well and good, Kero,” said Tomoyo. “But it’s still not exactly great reading material.”

“Like we ever get any of that up here…” Syaoran grumbled.

“By the way…” said Sakura. “Where did Aeris get to?”

It was only then that everyone noticed that the pony-tailed flower girl had somehow disappeared shortly after they had exited the theater. The others looked at each other and shrugged.

THE HOLOCABANA

Aeris stretched herself out slightly in the beach chair and adjusted her sunglasses before picking up her Long Island Iced Tea from a nearby table and taking sips from it. She was dressed in a pink bikini and an open red silk beach shirt which echoed her usual attire. To her left was Cloud who was busy filing Aeris’ nails and Zack, Cloud’s dark haired look-alike, was busy massaging her feet. It was then that she noticed her glass was empty. She grabbed her Princess Guard and thwacked a nearby tall black-cloaked figure with it.

“Yo! Sword boy! Bring me a refill and make it snappy!” she yelled.

“Yes, mistress…” Sephiroth whimpered as he scampered off.

Aeris put her staff away and smiled. Maybe Kero had the right idea after all.

DEEP 13

“Blast!” Eriol cursed. “I was certain I had them that time!”

“Well, you win some, you lose some,” said Spinel Sun.

Eriol just sighed. “Well, push the button, Ruby Moon.”

“I wonder if I’d look good in that pink bikini,” Ruby Moon mused.

“I doubt it…” muttered Spinel Sun.

Ruby Moon responded by smacking Spinel’s head against the button.

THE REAL END

(Feel free to hum ‘Catch You, Catch Me’ as the credits roll.)

Dr. Thinker himself sent me this fanfic with his grace to MST it for which I am very grateful.^-^ I’m not sure about the beach scenes in this MST. The hentai side of my imagination must be acting up. I’ve also been working on some other stuff including a very special CCST3K with Hikaru (Of Magic And Matchmaking, Hidden Within The Heart) who also provided one of her own fanfics for the MST. (What a good sport, huh?) I’ve also been working for a long time with fellow CLAMP MSTer and SVAM Member, April Hamilton on an MSTing of a fan translation script of the first volume of the X manga. I also have two more fanfics in the works and the possibility of a neew series of MSTs with a new cast (assuming I ever manage to finish Episode 2 of TST3K. I’ve actually finished Episode 3, but I can’t post it until two is finished. Go figure…)

Also, I want to thank everyone who’s sent fanmail. I appreciate all of it.^-^

Until next time…

-CardCaptor Schlueter (aka Syaoran-kun)

Season One:

1) The Brain From Planet Arous-A Ranma ½ Fic By Ryoucilo

2) The Mike Rhea Anthology-Ranma ½ Fics By Mike Rhea

(Loves Me, Loves Me Not/ Akane Gets Drained/ Konatsu’s First Kiss)

3) Neon Ranma Evangelion-A Ranma ½ /Neon Genesis Evangelion Fic By Khyron Kingkiller

4) Good Bye Sweet Li (Part 1)-A Card Captor Sakura (CardCaptors) Fic By Lady Yuy

5) Stolen-A Magic Knight Rayearth Fic By hikaru shidou

6) Good Bye Sweet Li (Part 2)-A Card Captor Sakura (CardCaptors) Fic By Lady Yuy

7) The True Power Of Love-A Card Captor Sakura Fic By poshul

8) Marco Polo-A Magic Knight Rayearth Fic By hikaru shidou

9) Madison’s Mystery Crush-A Card Captor Sakura (CardCaptors) Fic By Chocolat*

10) Is It Reality Or Just A Trick?-A Sailor Moon Fic By Dr. Thinker

Season Two:

11) The Next Generation-A Card Captor Sakura (CardCaptors) Fic By JimAndZazu

12) Caught In The Act-A Card Captor Sakura (CardCaptors) Fic By Second Sailor Destiny

13) The Shadow Leaders-A Sailor Moon Fic By Dr. Thinker

14) Shinji’s Alter-Ego-A Neon Genesis Evangelion Fic By John82

15) Sailor Jupiter Vs. Godzilla-A Sailor Moon Fic By Flashman (Christian A. Rogers)

16) Temples, Captors And Knights (Part 1)-A Card Captor Sakura/Magic Knight Rayearth Fic By Syaoran’s Lovertoy

17) No Need For CardCaptors-A Tenchi Muyo/Card Captor Sakura (CardCaptors) Fic By Christina Horton

18) Temples, Captors And Knights (Part 2)-A Card Captor Sakura/Magic Knight Rayearth Fic By Syaoran’s Lovertoy

19) Mother, May I [Take Over The World]-A Pokemon Fic By Mallet Boy

20) Syaoran: Romeo… Not Really-A Card Captor Sakura Fic By Golden Eyed Dragon

Season Three:

21) Harry Potter And the Pantie Raiders-A Harry Potter Fic By Ice Blue X

22) The Unforgettable Promise-A Love Hina Fic By KenshinRC

23) To Find My Dad And Have A Family-A Card Captor Sakura Fic By MoshiMoshiQueen

24) Revolutionary Girl Asuka-A Neon Genesis Evangelion/Shoujo Kakumei Utena Fic By Joyce K. Wakabayashi

25) A Dream Come True-A CardCaptor Sakura Fic By Crystalina Rhapsody Draco

26) The Only Constant-A Star Trek: The Next Generation Fic By Stephen Ratliff

27) The Lionel Dark Anthology-Card Captor Sakura(CardCaptors)/Lord Of The Rings Fics By Lionel Dark

(Signs That Say You’re Like Lionel Dark/ More Signs The You’re Like Elle/ The Scythe Carrier)

28) The Ranma ½ Cast Does CCS-A Ranma ½/CardCaptor Sakura Fic By Matthew Cline

29) Megamon X-A Pokemon/Megaman X Fic By Brock Shale

30) Hotaru Goes To Hogwarts-A Sailor Moon/Harry Potter Fic By Saturn Angels

Season Four:

31) The Bubblehead, The Jerk And The High School-A Sailor Moon/Gundam Wing Fic By Jayde Summers

(w/ short True Search-A Shoujo Kakumei Utena Fic By SparkleOfEnergyHeidi)

32) Find You Again-A Vision Of Escaflowne Fic By winged angel

33) The XXX Files-A Shoujo Kakumei Utena Fic By Reanna R. King

34) First Release-A CardCaptor Sakura/Ranma ½ Fic By Wishbringer

35) Bubblegum Card-Ep. 3.1415-A Bubblegum Crisis/X-Men Fic By Kris Overstreet

26) The Black Hole-A Pokemon Fic By Dr. Thinker

Deep Fried SPAM:

1) Why Not Make A Little Money While Surfing The Net

2) Now Offering For Your “Sensitive” Delight… New And Improved!

3) Why RPGs Should Be Severely Censored And Devoid Of Character Development

Specials:

-Christmas Special-Under The Mistletoe/Tsubasa Gets What He Deserves-Ranma ½ Fics By Mike Rhea

-Summaries Of Suffering Vol. 1-A CCST3K Spin-off By Ciircee and Chelle-Sama

-Summaries Of Suffering Vol. 2-A CCST3K Spin-off By Ciircee and Chelle-Sama

Other MSTings:

Totally Spies Theater 3000:

Season One:

1) What If Meowth Was A Girl?-A Pokemon Fic By Dr. Thinker

2) Sailor Trigger-A Sailor Moon/Chrono Trigger Fic By Sailor Koban

(w/ short BB Hood’s Rampage-A DarkStalkers Fic By FlamingSmileyFace)

>"Ha. Ha. Ha. Ha. I laughed." Xurrix remarked.

Mystery Science Theater 3000 and its related characters and situations

reserved.

Keep Circulating The Fanfics....